• waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop cyring
28,951 notes


I just had a guy from the job I applied for earlier ring me but I was half asleep and crying at greys anatomy so I answered with ‘ugh hi’ NOW IM NEVER GETTING EMPLOYED

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i hate when people say “you’ve barely touched your food” like what do you want me to do stroke it 

I tend to eat with my hands a lot, so i already stroke it as well so this statement is always untrue for me :(

(via bitchesbecr-azy)

225,053 notes



That thing that cats do that when they are being controlled by satan.


hahahahahaha what the fuck

(Source: thebraavosi, via uhmeliamay)

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son, im not sure how to say this, but, ur gay lmao

(via bitchesbecr-azy)

47,478 notes

who r u where did u come from where have u been

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